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We have been trying to get pregnant for the past 3 years of marriage. Actually, we got pregnant 9 months ago, but miscarried. If there is any consolation, we're happy we know that we can get pregnant. Now we are simply trying to be patient and praying. Along the way, we've contemplated adoption. As we've considered adopting a child, I've stumbled over three main concerns: Money, Love, and Process. I'll go into these in more measure. Please keep in mind that these are just preliminary impressions on adoption as a prospective parent. I've not yet done enough research. Our finances are tight. We are still getting ourselves out of debt due to some impulsive spending habits during the beginning of our marriage. I had been desiring to put off having children, but my wife gently reminded me that having a child while tight financially is better than not having a child while having a little extra spending money. Children are more important than money. We are desiring to make the sacrifice. Although this attitude is all well and good when bearing your own children, I'm guessing that an adoption agency has more stringent financial requirements for those they accept. Not to mention the fees. As of now, I don't think we can afford adoption. When the topic of adoption first was mentioned between us, I didn't give it serious consideration. My heart has always been set on fathering my own children. I've always fancied that part of the love I'd experience for my child would be the knowledge that he is from me. (Yes, I'm hoping for a boy.) As I've thought about it further, however, I sincerely trust I could love an adopted child just the same. Love is much more a heartfelt expression of action than a mystical feeling of oneness. Plus the knowledge that I "saved" this child would provide some great feelings in the process. Possibly I'd even think of myself as this child's hero! A third concern I've dealt with while contemplating adoption is a fear of the long process. I regularly hear about horror stories of the time and cost required to adopt a child. A friend even experienced a situation where there surfaced a possibility that the birth mother could take the child back into custody six or so months after the fact. I'd want to be sure of the outcome before starting the necessary steps. Then I read of occasions of adoptive parents going to foreign countries to pick up a child with the only expense of a plane ticket. Is it really so easy? I haven't researched adoption enough to understand the truth about the above money, love, and process concerns. I have figured out that I will love whatever child with whom God blesses us. This article is just the first step in my journey to come to terms with these issues. I have set up a web site at which I hope to solicit articles from others weighing adoption or adoptive parents. I invite you to post an article as well. No one needs to be an expert -- I'm sure not! There isn't even a need to be an accomplished writer. Your experience on the topic is highly valued.
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